shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
