saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
