Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
