It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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