I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
