You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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