I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize