please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
