it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
