Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
