i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
