Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

capris are just wrong

(703): View more from Virginia

its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"

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(540): View more from Virginia

I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't

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(732): View more from New Jersey

on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

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(845): View more from New York

Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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(972): View more from Texas

I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone

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