While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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