Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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