i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
