I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize