i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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