Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
