Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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