Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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