Christians are straight up FREAKS
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
