I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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