i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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