yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
