Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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