Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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