so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
