She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
