i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
