ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i think im in europe. pls send help
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