i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
