That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
