Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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