I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
