How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the raccoons are back...
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