I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
