Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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