Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
