Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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