i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
