why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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