Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think my tv is drunk
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
