i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
