I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
