So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
