At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
