google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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