$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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