Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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