"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it's great music for shaving your balls
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
