im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
