i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
