What a fucking waste of an outfit
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
