whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize