I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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