What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
