They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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