Im at strip club and am horny
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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