Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think i have two assholes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
