am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i came on her dog
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
