kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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