i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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