I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
