Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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